Saturday, May 16, 2009
meep-ed @ 10:33 PM

Well... Life didnt exactly got any better since last time, Maybe it did get slightly better... maybe...

Carol is leaving singapore again, currently she is back Indonesia and gonna go US to study university. Well i going to miss her badly. wishing that all the past we can relive over and over again, i guess people move on. and life just got to keep going. Maybe its time, i should be less reliant on her... 

On friday, I had duty for literature evening, seniors was saying how boring the previous one for, and one thing i know, literature never amazed me that much, since i have been failing it and never decide to touch it again. Well the performance was, Awesome, Really awesome. Didn't really get the stories, but it kind of invoke a certain thinking in me. Perhaps the only barrier or the biggest barrier is actually the language barrier between me and literature.

I am starting to feel art students seems to be more fun-loving than science students, perhaps they seek for different in life, apart of getting a good job, good grades and all materialised things. They have their own way of explaining life while we have own, perhaps that the difference between us and them where we exist in numbers and theories, they exist in histories and thoughts. 

Lets just leave it as, everyone is different. Just got to accept who they really are, inside.

Getting annoyed  by group members and losing interest in project work is not a good thing, its like only the start of the year, i am already getting irritated. When one doesn't have the interest to do something, they never will. perhaps thats why they are like this. I got to change that mindset of mind and start accepting flaws of people.

Food for thoughts

Ever wonder why mathematics, religions , theories or even classification existed?

Indeed it seems so weird that certain things only exist imaginary, yet we need them to be in our life. perhaps the reasons why something exist in our life its not just about what is real or not , but we need them in life. 

Example, true love, sometimes, we always feel it will never exist, but some still needs to believe it exist, because we need to believe that indeed true love in life exist and we are willing to work for it. 

Existence in the world, is not by facts nowadays, but its just for the sake of our wants.

perhaps thats the power of belief...

Existence is just another word for illusions.

Ciaos. 

Good friday. well it was good. stayed home and rot. like mad. studied physic and did some work here and there. played killzone 2 and end of the day. my macbook have reach my homeland!!. totally love it.. it rocks. its like the best thing that can happen to me now except for the other one.

and pretty much thats it.

Saturday. finished up all my homework and 

Econs presentation that still requires revising

Today wasnt that great.

had mee goreng for lunch that never filled me.

Came home and heat up the leftover pizza. 

Just sat in front of the computer and stared.

Stared really hard.

Wishing something would fly out.

Got irritated like mad. no idea why.

Life become so depressing

that made me feel like dying

I wish i could understand what she was saying

and perhaps...

Life would be so much more worth living 

and yes i kinda made a poem 

I miss Carol. like a lot. always loved her presence. like nothing is out there to get me down. Without her at that point of life. i think i would die. How i wish she was my real sister. Well after all we do have the same surname.

I looked up at sky.

wishing something would fall

Perhaps something that can kill

if not something that can save

and please don't be something that leave me in between.

Rain fell and it felt like fresh tears rolling down my cheek.

I wish i was emoing...

Lost of emotions.

Ciaos

Had a super bad week. so glad my school days have ended for this week...

things that went wrong

1. Injured my arm
2. Screwed up Physic FA
3. Got sent out of class cos i forget to bring an assignment
4. Screwed up Econ presentation
5. Failed to miss PE
6. Possibility of PI being out of point
7. Friends seems to be hating or ignoring me.( unconfirmed )
8. Screwed up my inspiration for Photography

Seriously what else can go wrong?

Well i am enjoying myself in FSV, have a few people i rather dislike or still trying to accept their flaws, but i love the seniors. totally rocks... We are having some lessons on photography. Even though it failed to teach the technical part of the lesson, it kinda just show the fun and the gist of photography. Creativity + camera = Photography. pretty much that is all you need.

-photography-
What is photography? Why bother learning it? It is something like a geek that takes the huge DSLR and go out take photos of random things like a pillar? Or perhaps some girls that takes up a camera that start camwhoring? In fact. those are all photography of different aspect.
Photography is different from the usual way of communication. different from using language, Graphic, or watever ways u can think of communicating.

Lets just imagine a photo of cube. Its just a object. For some its just a stupid picture that make no sense. but think harder. You realise there are just millions of possibility. that is one aspect photography can bring. It shows how can someone view the world. perspective of life. Millions of ideas. just capture in simple photo
perhaps. thats what it meant. a picture meant a thousand words.

Well it sucks cos its like our clique is starting to fade away. Perhaps its just one part of our junior college life that we have to forget. Such as a memory that is not worth dangling on. Everyone has their own life... everyone has their own problems and happiness. so why bother?

What is friendship? is it really just a bonding between 2 persons that considered reliable to each other? or is it just a relation we built when we grow dependent on each other where we start to take adv between each other?
Its like a tape.
just we feel there is something more important over certain relation.
we just take them down.
overwriting the old memories.
the old friendships?
Maybe thats how friendship disappears?

really hope our friendship would last.
i wouldnt mind giving anything for it...

Flaws are everywhere...
Open your eyes and realise...
these are the imperfection that makes them perfect...

Ciaos...

Stuck at home today due to injured arm due to punching of Dominic. Got a direct impact on my arm, making me unable to lift my arm. hurts quite badly. but currently on pain killers thus everything is pretty much Alright. i suppose.

Liaw birthday was on Saturday, went over in the morning. spoiling my headphone... irritated and played a bit of badminton. went over to soccer court and realize we only have 7 people. not enough for a soccer match so end up playing a 3v3 soccer match without any goal keeper. freaking tiring..

Went to AMK Hub caught shinjuku incident. pretty awesome for violence! and cause its in japan. i pretty much liked it. its one show we can never watch with chayadi. there is no happy ending. =P. splattering blood, hands flying off, killing in the middle of town, what else can i say. NC16 rocks. cant wait for M18 and alcohol.

Got back to nicholas house and finished my MI. then go down to start fire for BBQ. it was so hot that anything that goes down on the pit gets burnt. Scary heat. was screaming madly over the heat. ate quite abit. 2 bowls of fried with bacon chicken chop and satay. Not bad... but i still prefer kebabs and my bro's bbq, steak and burgers RULES! Talked to leslie about cjc, he is transfering from ACJ to CJ. reasons? timetable full from 7 to 7 without breaks for entire week... awesome.. =P

Played with andre's camera with school lens, seriously, wide angle lens is awesome. the photos are super pretty! if i am getting DSLR i am soo going to buy a wide angle lens.

Went out with Lee on friday to hortpark, took quite abit of photo to add into my port folio, suppose to retake a photo for competition but the glass disappeared. sadd.. went over to ikea for dinner, she got herself a pullover, or rather a oversized shirt. i not sure how to classify those shirts. Saw this shirt going "Myspace make work fun!" lol... totally. just that facebook makes work even more fun. Had meatballs and chicken wings for dinner. totally awesome. i love ikea food. Walked around ikea and talking about the ideal home design. Went over to busstop and took 153 bus home and we both slept thru the entire ride. =)

Todays was just BORING. stuck at home cant do much cos homework aint with me. sucks. Oh well...

Ciaos

From the day i enter college, secrets had roamed the land. Just felt i am actually keeping quite a bit secrets kills me inside out. not just the secrets of college, but the secrets that always been inside me all this time.

I know inside me there are things i wished to say. kept inside me for extremely long time as if it was preserving prunes. but seriously? what the point of saying anything when it doesn't change a thing? pointless things are just not worth doing...

okay that sounds like a composition or something.
Don't mind me. it is just ranting of mine.

march holidays was pretty alright, finished all my work and met up with several secondary sch friends. everyone is surviving pretty well in JC life or their holiday. Just hope our relationship remains this way. and hopes somebody would grow up. hopefully.

got back to school on a happier note. With the holidays, pretty much ready for the workload to come. Project work is coming in and so is other subject. all rushing for mid year. just praying hard everything would do find. having pretty moodswings here and there, most likely due to derive of sleep.

Also my macbook is coming soon! cant wait for it.

anyway happy birthday bro. :)

ciaos.

and yes... i am still thinking of her... just wanna see her smile once again....

" After all the stupid things i did, how can we not be awkward when we are talking to each other? " adapted from a great friend of mine.

Its like two lovers that loved each other but never will be together as what i say.

Perhaps life its just like something that make us change from the past. Maybe thats the real reason why we cant revert back to the past. However, just because we cant go back to where we were. does it mean that two things that are apart with each other, are just meant or fated to never be together? or are they just not trying hard enough?

If there is god, I believe humans are the one and will be the one that goes against god's will... changing what is fated and meant to be into what is not meant to be. something better that we never thought we will ever have...

Saturday went out with Wan ling to study. if i am not wrong, its the first time in the year i saw her. thus we did a bit of catching up with each other's life. JC life is always fun to talk about. Embarrassing times, Happy times, sad times.... too many times to talk about.

Jean dropped a call to find out what buses can taken to go home from bras basah. Then i was like. give me 10 minutes. then i appeared in front of her. Kinda freaked her out. brought her to the bus stop for the bus and ran back in the rain to the coffee bean. almost got hit by a taxi cos i didn't watch the traffic. Tsk... i was like at that moment. " Yay i am going to die... finally.. its bring all to an end... " but the taxi stopped. Darn it.

Moved over to SMU's underground study area. Saw Wan ling's sister. then she gave me the chao bing face. as if i did something wrong. so i just kept quiet and did my studies. Keith appeared after being late for 30mins. chatted, studied and slacked, did quite abit of work. its kinda fun to meet up with old friends. we left around 9, where wan ling went off with her mum while me and keith went over to rochor road's soya beancurd. Talked more about my PT in school and some of the friends in school. did our usual guy talk and went home.

Today sucks. productivity inefficient. its like inside the PPC. studied for my maths and chemistry test i going to have tomorrow. felt that i seriously having problem with chemistry as i am still unsure of the defination and working. Maths was alright until i started looking at challenging questions and AP which seriously just killed my entire morale for maths. I think i am going to flunk my first CA. think that i am going to study chinese later on. can't believe i have tian xie han zi. sucks big time. i seriously feel like flunking chinese till Alevels cos there is tian xie han zi. zzz its like welcome back to primary school

JC aint so easy anymore. This sucks....

Wishing for the best. preparing for the worst. i hope...

Ciaos. :D

"The "one" that we always talking about are just those fews that fit us. there are more just one in this world if u bother you bother to find it. Just that, there is so few that they become the one"

Adapted from what Zack said at grandstand 5th march

That day was chin hong's birthday then i was chatting with fiona and zack, her classmate. aka the biggest guy in Catholic Junior college. We were talking about all the super successful relationships like those they lasted since secondary sch and actually are together together... One live example is my sister. she had a boyfriend which suppose to be her first love. they were together since J1 and still together today. We always feel that once we found the one that meant to be with us. it may just meant forever love.. but whatever zack said is true. perhaps maybe there are people that had similar personality... or just another person that loves u as much the "one" we are refering to?

Well maybe thats what the statement meant about, the one that gives u true love can be anyone. i meant anyone...

Didnt blog yesterday cos i was way too tired to type. just came online, talk to people and went off to bed.. waaayyy too tired...

Well yesterday was Chin Hong's birthday. One of the guys in the clique. After school which i was released early because my teacher pull forward our chinese lesson. so sat at the grand stand with arielle's gfs from st anthony, just sat there and stone till fiona came by with zack and started chatted with them.

Chin hong ended his mass PE and we wanted to throw him down to pond. which failed cos he just ran up to his class to change.. darn it! after that Arielle, Fiona, Shaun, Chin hong and I walked to the novena for fish n co. It was quite sad cos shaun and arielle was playing the blind game while fiona and chin hong was like holding hands and walking together. and i just stood there and be a loner haha...

Got to Fish and co and chin hong saw his primary school friend, Sebastian, pray hard i didnt spell wrongly. which is like my age, 17 and its like fiona and arielle went crazy over him and wishing me chin hong and shaun would grow up to be like him. Yea thanks sis. =.= got alot of food and ate some hungry ghost from hell. we were like literally throwing food down the throat without chewing. The seafood platter. its good.. but i prefer the new york new york one haha!

after we are done eating. we were like singing songs like i'm yours... cant take my eyes off you... love story... everyone got quite high then its like as its chin hong birthday. he got a free ice cream and the crews was like singing a song for chin hong.

Well heres the bad news, we broke a glass when we left the place. tsk.. i feel sooo bad...

Got home and and taught beverly maths and physic as usual and got home to sleep tsk!

Today was alright... had mass PE but i was doing crutches throughout cos i was having cramps while running... sucky shit. i also wore my PE shorts wrong side. was like super pai seh la. but lucky i didnt have to do GST, instead of running they have to hop up,up 2 down 1, until they reach the top, its scarrryyy. did like 100 crutches while they do the GST. quite proud of myself LOL. Went out with lunch with jean,arielle and chris. Brandan pang seh us as usual with the line (girlfriend > everything!). got back to sch and settle the A levels results photo taking. was quite fun. but hard cos the teacher wanted happy faces but how to get happy faces when they expression goes like this

When they have good result, they cry

when they have bad results, they cry

when they haven got their result, they no feeling. KNS!!!

After duty i stayed at the studio playing patapon till 5 where i film the soccer match. its quite fun to do video but the boring part come in during editing and my eyes hurts from it =.= it tickles haha. after that went to far east ramen ten to have dinner with shaun, arielle, jean and chin hong. SHAUN WAS SOOO FUNNY. he ate the super hot ramen + big bowl. then he was like sweating as if he had another rugby training in the oven!. then he just kept quiet with his face like totally red. Chin hong was like screaming in pain... while arielle just stone there. Jean was like laughing her ass off when she was like looking at shaun's and chin hong's expression.

After the meal we got home cos everyone had plans... well its a friday night. curfew. celebration. for me? i have a date with my bro's Imac! i cant wait for my 13" macbook!!!!

Macbook macbook... where are you.....

Secrets ain't secrets when u know about secrets exist.

Ciaos!